Time really flies, today marks the last day of 2008. Will be having dinner and a get together session with my close relative tonight. My brother asked me last night, what shall we do after the dinner? I told him, let's find a quiet corner to do some self reflections on the events and whatever happening to us in 2008.
Yes, reflection.... 2008 what a year for me! As in all my previous entries, I've experienced everything bad for me in life in 2008.
1. Going through a long ordeal which lasted 28 days;
2. Wow, first time in my life on the propaganda;
3. Loss everything, freedom, monies, pride;
4. My great uncle was diagnosed with cancer;
5. Loss of my goals for the first time in life;
6. Car got towed by LTA (bcos I have no money to pay road tax!)
7. All kinds of summons, you name it I have it;
Well, though all bad things happened to me in 2008, that is not the worst. I've gained alot too! I've gained and learned to treasure kinship,love. Whatever it is, whats happened has already happened. You can't turn the clock back, look ahead and move on! I am especially grateful that I can celebrate Christmas, new year and even Chinese New Year with my close ones. Really, that's really something that I am really grateful about it!
人生不如意十之八九，得到的不一定会永远，失去的不一定不再拥有！珍惜眼前人，所有的一切。过去就算了不要在执著一切。事事难预料，耐心等待我的奇迹。只要相信就一定会有！
告别我人生最阴暗的2008，迎接全新的2009。我2009年的展望是什么？希望一切最坏的都过去，我要重新开始。慢慢酝酿我的人生！
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
24-12-2008 - blessed
This christmas was pretty meaningful for me. Cos its my youngest brother "big day". He is proposing to his girlfriend of 8 years! Am happy to be able to participate in this whole "plot". We went to get the necessary stuff ready and then by the stipulated time frame me and my younger brother (who is in the middle among the 3 of us) quickly went straight to the venue for preparation.
The venue is at Swissotel Stamford Level 59. It was meant to be a surprised for Jan (my youngest brother girlfriend). We gotta prepare the candles, roses, etc. The end effect was fantastic!
Had a quiet christmas with wei my younger brother this year at the lobby lounge after that. We enjoyed our drinks and chatted happily. The couple rang us up and invited us up to their room after the big surprised! Hee... our main cast of the day was so touched that she cried.
Well, everything in life is really impermanent. I've learnt to treasure my family, friends and all things around me even more. I am grateful of what I have, what I can, what i am this day.
Merry Xmas!
The venue is at Swissotel Stamford Level 59. It was meant to be a surprised for Jan (my youngest brother girlfriend). We gotta prepare the candles, roses, etc. The end effect was fantastic!
Had a quiet christmas with wei my younger brother this year at the lobby lounge after that. We enjoyed our drinks and chatted happily. The couple rang us up and invited us up to their room after the big surprised! Hee... our main cast of the day was so touched that she cried.
Well, everything in life is really impermanent. I've learnt to treasure my family, friends and all things around me even more. I am grateful of what I have, what I can, what i am this day.
Merry Xmas!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Confused....
I know its time that I should move on, but I am still very confused with the path I am choosing. 眼前的路一片漆黑，摸不着看不到。
I really need to cool down and think of my next move. Been feeling down lately and very confused too. Was at MPH this morning, chanced upon some Chinese horoscope luck predictions for 2009. It says Luck is BAD for me next year. Wasn't really affected cos well, since when my luck was good afterall?
I need time, really really need it, I've got lots of issues to settle!
AM PRAYING HARD NOW.
I really need to cool down and think of my next move. Been feeling down lately and very confused too. Was at MPH this morning, chanced upon some Chinese horoscope luck predictions for 2009. It says Luck is BAD for me next year. Wasn't really affected cos well, since when my luck was good afterall?
I need time, really really need it, I've got lots of issues to settle!
AM PRAYING HARD NOW.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
今天是雨天
下了场倾盆大雨，正是我今天的心情。 雨天给人的感觉是冷的，湿的而我的内心也一样是冷的。
是不是因为年未的关系呢？好象什么不好的统统一次过到。有时不能不轻视女人的第六感，很灵的。前几天突然有预感，没想到今天就来了。不希望怎么快发生的事却偏偏一个一个地浮现，真的叫我难挡。内心的折磨很辛苦，真的很痛苦。
突然有些想法，回想起以前刚踏入社会工作充满的憧憬 - 我是一个多么有理想多么有野心的人呀！ 感叹十几年后的我，好象真的破产了！没有了事业，没有了金钱。这些年来我得到什么？管非连连，什么跟政府有关的you name it, I have it. 事事无绝对，这句话说的一点也没错！我从来没有想过自己的人生那么失败不但一无所成还惹上一蚂蚁的事端。很累真的很累，一个一个的障碍好象缠着我不放。我觉得我的人生好象毁掉不堪了。
试想想，和我同龄的好命就几个孩子了。烦的都是自己的孩子啦，家庭啦。每天工作完毕回家看孩子，类似这样的生活。看看我吧，很想有个孩子，可是实世并不允许。很想过着无忧无虑的日子，却每天要为钱而烦恼。好想做些什么却没办法因为事实不允许我做。
现在的我很茫然，我到底该怎么做？有谁能告诉我呢？有人曾怎么说：跌倒了不要紧最重要的是能自己爬起来。我也想像他那样，可是我根本没办法只因我有很多问题解决不了的问题！
是不是因为年未的关系呢？好象什么不好的统统一次过到。有时不能不轻视女人的第六感，很灵的。前几天突然有预感，没想到今天就来了。不希望怎么快发生的事却偏偏一个一个地浮现，真的叫我难挡。内心的折磨很辛苦，真的很痛苦。
突然有些想法，回想起以前刚踏入社会工作充满的憧憬 - 我是一个多么有理想多么有野心的人呀！ 感叹十几年后的我，好象真的破产了！没有了事业，没有了金钱。这些年来我得到什么？管非连连，什么跟政府有关的you name it, I have it. 事事无绝对，这句话说的一点也没错！我从来没有想过自己的人生那么失败不但一无所成还惹上一蚂蚁的事端。很累真的很累，一个一个的障碍好象缠着我不放。我觉得我的人生好象毁掉不堪了。
试想想，和我同龄的好命就几个孩子了。烦的都是自己的孩子啦，家庭啦。每天工作完毕回家看孩子，类似这样的生活。看看我吧，很想有个孩子，可是实世并不允许。很想过着无忧无虑的日子，却每天要为钱而烦恼。好想做些什么却没办法因为事实不允许我做。
现在的我很茫然，我到底该怎么做？有谁能告诉我呢？有人曾怎么说：跌倒了不要紧最重要的是能自己爬起来。我也想像他那样，可是我根本没办法只因我有很多问题解决不了的问题！
Depressed.............
Have been in a depressed mode lately, have been crying alot lately too. Sometimes I feel like a happy person but most of the time I am not. I had dinner with a close friend just two days ago, how I envy her carefree life. Wished I would be like her too.
We cannot turn the time machine back to the time we like, we cannot changed the facts of life, we cannot reverse our actions in life, we cannot retract our decisions made in life, so on and so forth......
Once a person very close to me asked me: Why are you an unhappy person? I just gave him a smile and did not reply. If I had the chance again, I guess I would not hide it and will be frank and just tell him why. A beginning is an ending, an ending is a beginning - a friend once told me.
I hate the feelings I had now, I dislike the way my life is in now! I wanna hide myself and shut myself out of this world for a while. Guess I need to do some self search quietly and be alone for some time to think through alot of things. But then again, HOW??
There are times when things really suck up and never moving the way you hope to be. What can I do? Be patience, and just sit there Waiting? Sigh! I want my old self back again! The feeling of falling apart is deadly!
Pray with faith and there shall be a path for you - from a movie I watched recently.
We cannot turn the time machine back to the time we like, we cannot changed the facts of life, we cannot reverse our actions in life, we cannot retract our decisions made in life, so on and so forth......
Once a person very close to me asked me: Why are you an unhappy person? I just gave him a smile and did not reply. If I had the chance again, I guess I would not hide it and will be frank and just tell him why. A beginning is an ending, an ending is a beginning - a friend once told me.
I hate the feelings I had now, I dislike the way my life is in now! I wanna hide myself and shut myself out of this world for a while. Guess I need to do some self search quietly and be alone for some time to think through alot of things. But then again, HOW??
There are times when things really suck up and never moving the way you hope to be. What can I do? Be patience, and just sit there Waiting? Sigh! I want my old self back again! The feeling of falling apart is deadly!
Pray with faith and there shall be a path for you - from a movie I watched recently.
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